An Open Letter to Sanjaya Malakar

Dear Sanjaya,

Like many other girls my age, I have been watching you on American Idol for the past two months, and like many other watchers, I do not think that you are the best singer on Idol. Quite frankly, I think you probably should have been sent home a long time ago. That rendition of "Ain't No Mountain High Enough?" What was up with that? If it had been up to me, then, well, you would have gone straight home after that. So why are you still here? The answer is simple. some Ashley...and mostly VFTW.

Ashley, your 13-year old sobbing fangirl. My brother has her as his computer background. People like her send you votes religiously. They are the teenybopper crowd, the ones who look for looks instead of good singing when their suburban middle schools' boys got the dip in the shallow end of the gene pool for looks. Do I think you're cute? Not really. If you were an witghth grader at my middle school, that may well be a different story. No offense to any guy from my school reading this, but I think there's something in New Jersey water that causes ugly boys. Well, Sanjaya, you've got that vulnerable look about you, like a lost puppy on the side of the road that people want to help. (When you reject the irons for the hair, you actually bear a bit of a resemblance to a character from the story I'm writing. Strangely enough, that character was created two months before Idol's premiere. But enough of that.) So I think that may be part of the reason why people-and by that I mean fangirls-keep voting for you so religiously. However, there aren't an overwhelming majority of them. If you were just riding on fangirl votes, you would have been out a long time ago.

It's VFTW. VoteForTheWorst, that beacon of AI anarchy, trying to keep the bad singer is to show the produceers the power of the people (or the phone,) and possibly the most likely cause of Idol's maybe future cancellation. Those VFTW followers are mocking you for your bad singing, as well as many other people. Howard Stern wants you to win just to show that a mediocre singer can win. News anchors hassle you. You and Ashley got mocked on SNL. That's right. You Got. Mocked On. SNL. And what I'm about to say may surprise you.

You don't deserve that.

Yes, you don't deserve that. You're, well I don't know exactly, but I'm guessing that you are a Virgo, so that would make it a little less than four, years older than me. You're not old enough to smoke or drink alcohol and you've only had your driver's license for a short time, but you're already the laughingstock of America. What I think is people need to laugh at flaws of others in order to distract from their own. They need a scapegoat, and unfortunately, you're it. You've been placed in the spotlight, highlighted as being the worst contestant on American Idol this season. And even I have to agree that you're out of your league here. Next to Lakisha, Melinda, and Blake, I'm sorry to say that you look like that guy in a banana suit that got about 12 seconds of TV time in Los Angeles.

But it's just too easy to blow things out of proportion when you're on the watching side of the TV screen. See, I'm looking back at the last paragraph, and even I exaggerated a little. It's just too easy to label you the worst singer in the world. And people have labeled you that. VFTW, Survivor Sucks, countless AI forums, TV, Howard Stern...a girl is even going on a hunger strike until you are voted off. I will not hold you responsible if she dies-her own idiocy is to blame. Sanjaya-bashing is now probably the new All-American pasttime. (See, I'm exaggerating again!)

And I'm saying that we've taken it too far. You're a human being, not a punching bag. I know that you read these criticisms, if not mine then certainly others, and if it had been me, I probably wouldn't have held out as long as you have. Maybe it's cause of my age, but I still don't think so. Our country is using a kid as a scapegoat, and that's just wrong. You may have come too far on AI for my tastes, but then again, we have gone too far with our mocking of you. So this is a letter of criticism and apology.

I will not be calling your number and voting for you tonight or any night, but from now on, I'm on your side in my own sort of way.

Sincerely,

Tris


PS: Just a bit of free advice here-if you WANT to stop getting criticized, you must stop doing things that make you blog food. Wearing seven ponytails in you hair is one of them. If you want a 13-year-old's style advice, stay natural. It's nicer.