Tris' Window

Moving day!

2008-01-07T23:38:00.000-05:00

Tris' Window is moving. Or, I am.

http://eliainthesky.deviantart.com

My journal and photos. It's been good, see you there!

Lady Mondegreen and Lady Flip-the-page

2007-11-27T20:19:00.000-05:00

A person I know has a name, that if you say it fast, mondegreens the name of a Virgilian homosexual shepherd. The mondegreen works if the first and last name are said together fast, which almost everyone does. (This person in real life is straight, although a tad androgynous from the back.)

And a scarier coincidence: A word that means "nobody" or "no man", when written down and flipped backwards, spells out the name of the same person that was the focus of the whole "do-I-cross-the-line" episode.

Whoa.

Yes, I'm procrastinating.

Memoirs of a geisha

2007-11-12T15:58:00.000-05:00

For anyone that knows me and has seen me in the past three months, you will know that I carried a purse with a picture of a geisha on it around. Today, I did not carry it. I recieved one comment "your other bag was nice, why did you switch?"

Was it because I was the geisha on that purse? For the past three months, I tried to be happy, shine out, act like everything was normal when I was really torn up inside over something that I will, probably, never forget but is actually really inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. I tried to be myself too hard, so I became someone else. (Remember my posts about lines in September? That's where it all started. I was hovering over that line for about a month, until I got kicked back in the middle of October, and then tried to find where I wanted to be on the safe side of the line.) I was Tris, acting the part of Tris.

Or was it because the bag never matched anything I wore?

That person who asked, and you, will never know anything more.

Psychic iPod tale

2007-10-26T14:53:00.000-05:00

If it's raining and I have to walk somewhere, I must listen to REM's "Nightswimming." Another one of my weird quirks. Anyway, it was raining today and I had to walk home from school. I was thinking that I was going to stick it on Shuffle, listen to some school-grounds-safe song, (iPods are inspected by peers to make sure that they've got "good" music on it. Mine never passes the test.) and listen to Nightswimming later, so I pressed the button and started walking.

Nightswimming was the first song.

WOW!

the iPod Meme

2007-10-09T20:14:00.000-05:00

Instructions: Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle. Say the following questions aloud, and press play. Use the song title as the answer to the question. NO CHEATING.

How does the world see me?

"Miracle Drug" by U2

Will I have a happy life?

"Rehab" by Amy Winehouse (NO, NO, NO!!!)

If my current love interest were to dedicate a song to me, what would it be?

"Elevation", U2 (I wish.)

What do my friends really think of me?

"Kind and Generous," Natalie Merchant (Yay!)

What do people secretly think of me?

"A-Game" It's from a soundtrack It's...intense.

How can I be happy?

"I wanna Know What Love Is" by Foreigner (I have to take that off my iPod from that stupid bet, but it's sort of true...)

Will I ever have (more) children?

"Melodies Of Life" from Final Fantasy (i guess I will!)

What is some good advice for me?

"The Internet is for Porn" from Avenue Q (I'm not joking. Ew!)

How will I be remembered?

"Fat Bottomed Girls" by Queen (Seriously!)

What is my signature dancing song?

"St. Alphonzo's Pancake Breakfast" by Frank Zappa (HAHAHA!)

What do I think my current theme song is?

"Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane (Right on!)

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?

"Synchronicity 1" by the Police (Nerdy song. I'm a nerd. Yay!)

What song will play at my funeral?

"Swallowed in the Sea" by Coldplay (I'm not getting in a boat again. Ever.)

What is my day going to be like?

"Black Dog" by Led Zeppelin (No comment!)

monochromatic

2007-09-26T21:40:00.000-05:00

I'm only allowing myself the duration of a certain Verve song to write this, as it is the only free time I had and will have all day.

These days, it seems like I'm seeing only gray. Some days are lighter gray, some darker, but it's nonetheless gray. Monochrome. I;m being told to be perky and smile and sing about tired turtles on tuttle-tuttle trees at 7:30 in the morning, I'm told to smile up at the sky while twirling a flag at 6:00 at night. Same thing every day. Even the scedule at school never changes-it's the same route, same path I take every single day. It's the same voices in my head telling me that I need change.They told me that life would be a lot more interesting in high school, but it's just let me fall into a rut. Go to school, possibly rehearsal, come home, sit at desk, do homework. Dinner. Sleep. I think the same things, I've stopped writing Verra (for those of you who know who that is,) I do the same things every day.

In short, what I need is new experiences, change, color.Anyone got a free set of paints?

No line!

2007-09-23T15:41:00.001-05:00

Enough said. Hope there isn't another one up ahead.

Lines

2007-09-20T18:07:00.000-05:00

There's a line. I don't know where it is. Do I cross it? What's it going to be like in the other side? They say everything looks perfect from far away, but should I stay, because I may be wearing the wrong glasses?

Where is this line, anyway? Must I follow the one I want to follow, over it? Has this person crossed the line at all? Has this person crossed it with anyone? I can't quite see from here, so the only way to see is to cross the line. But will I like what I see? The only thing I know is, I cross this line, it's going to be hard to get back.

How do I cross this line? Will I silently sneak over it, or will I go with a fanfare? How will the people on the other side appreciate it?

Why am I worrying about this? Why do I even want to cross this line?

Is there even a line to be crossed?

I WANNA KNOW WHAT LOVE IS!

2007-09-17T05:18:00.001-05:00

I WAAAANT YOU TO SHOW MEEEEEEEEEE!

And by the way?

TAR GOT THE EMMY!!!!

Tris has a flag...

2007-09-13T06:54:00.000-05:00

See Tris twirl her flag.

See Tris drop her flag.

See Tris pick it up.

Try, Tris, try!

Now Tris marches with a big band.

See Tris twirl her flag.

See Tris spin.

See Tris drop her flag.

See Tris pick it up.

See Tris hit herself in the head.

Tris says, "Shit! That hurt!"

Ouch, ouch, ouch.

Curse, Tris, curse!

See the captain bitch at Tris for throwing everyone off.

Uh-oh! Tris read her drill wrong!

This is Frankie. He is pain in Tris's assholes.

See Tris march to the wrong side of the field.

Laugh, Frankie, laugh!

See Tris go home and practice.

Practice, Tris, practice.

See Tris twirl her flag.

See Tris spin.

See Tris throw her flag.

See Tris hit the tree.

The bees are angry.

Run, Tris, run!

Now it is a day of the big game.

The big band and all the other Color Guard are there.

Tris likes her costume.

But it is very short.

The band laughs, and says that the Guard is going to freeze in November.

Tris wants to prove them wrong.

Prove them wrong, Tris, prove them wrong!

Tris yells that with global warming, it will be 70 degrees.

The fans like the Guard costumes.

They bother the Guard.

See the Guard yell, "FUCK YOU!"

This is Lisa. She's the co-captain.

Lisa wants the Guard to dance when the band plays "Louie Louie."

Lisa wants them to shake their butts.

Tris is disGUSTed.

This is Jen. Jen is Tris' best friend in the guard.

Jen is disGUSTed too.

The band is going to play "Louie Louie."

Hide, Tris and Jen, hide!

See Tris and Jen hide.

The band is playing "Louie Louie."

The Guard is dancing, and the fans are whistling.

Where are Tris and Jen?

They are holding up stands music books.

It's time for the show!

See the band march onto the field.

See the show start.

See Tris twirl her flag.

See Tris spin.

See Tris throw her flag.

See Tris dance with her flag.

Tris does not drop her flag! Hooray!

See Tris get ass-grabbed by a drunk fan.

See Tris whack him with her flag.

Time to go home!

The band gets on the bus.

Tris is tired.

Do you know why?

Because next week, she has to do it all over again!

Blogoversary

2007-09-05T18:04:00.001-05:00

So, here it is again. It's the day before the first day of school. (I can't believe a year went by so fast! Maybe I should blog more often.) And I'm prepared for the worst, but this time around, I expect the best.

Tomorrow is my first day of high school.

I will not just survive, but I will have a good time there.

I will do, or I will do not. There is no try.

Gambatte.

WHO WANTS TO HEAR JOURNEY BLASTING FROM THE NEIGHBORS HOUSE AT 12:12 AM?

2007-09-02T23:08:00.000-05:00

NOT ME!

Listening to Moby.

IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT

2007-08-31T17:44:00.000-05:00

...and no, I DO NOT FEEL FINE!

I saw a holiday commercial today.

Today is AUGUST 31.

I just lost a lot of faith in the human race.

The Cortex Is For...

2007-08-26T20:28:00.001-05:00

Yes, I have no life.

Not panicking worked.

2007-08-25T11:52:00.000-05:00

I didn't drop the flag!

I should try not panicking more often.

I was bored this morning.

So this one time at band camp...

2007-08-23T05:24:00.000-05:00

I have a color guard performance to put on in less than 36 hours. I am still severley messing up when marching and flag-spinning at the same time. (One at a time, I'm fine. But when I do both, I look like a lost chicken running across the road.) We still have a lot to learn of the show, and because of my rookie status, I'm not the fastest learner.

I will not panic. I will not panic.

You know you live in TrisTown if...

2007-07-27T16:39:00.000-05:00

If Tris applauds, watch to see how she applauds; she may be insulting you.
You went to town every day after middle school.
Want to get your nails done? You have six options within a quarter-mile radius.
You do not dream of going into New York before you die.
You have gotten disapproving glances from old ladies and Town X girls at the Short Hills Mall (not that you're actually buying anything there!)
You know what happens in Memorial Park after dark on Fridays.
You know someone who has come close to dying at the TrisTown/Third President Ave intersection.

Any ideas, TrisTownians?

My DNA

2007-07-27T08:03:00.000-05:00

My personalDNA Report

First

2007-07-20T14:33:00.000-05:00

Today is/will be...

My first full day back from camp
I ate my first pupusa
My first time playing our new piano(pics forthcoming)
The first time I searched for concert tickets (Police tickets, November, hoping Mom will let me go with her or TrisDad)
First full day with access to modern technology
First time I'll see the new Harry Potter book (WOOOOOT!)

Aaaaannnnnddd...this is the first post from my new laptop! HAPPY (LATE) BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEEEE!

Would you like to swing on a star?

2007-06-22T21:43:00.000-05:00

Well, I didn't, but I swang on the swings today. For ten minutes straight. While listening to my iPod. It's this strange thing about me, that I'm so attracted to swings.

The camp I'm going to be at within 24 hours has better swings, but they're harder to get higher. The playground near my house has easy swings to use, but they bump and bounce and break often.

In a day, I'll be able to use those great swings that you can actually give underdogs on without whacking your head. And walking llamas. And seeing my friends again. And be in the closest thing to paradise I've ever known.

See you in a month, my readers. I'll be at camp for 3 and a half weeks. Can't wait.

PS: Am I crazy that I learned about life from swings?

Random thoughts from the year

2007-06-16T11:26:00.000-05:00

For anyone in love, make sure it's a real person that you love and not your idea of them.

A camera's viewfinder is not an eye.

You cannot wait forever for something that will never happen.

You can lift your mind into outer space, but the problem is that it'll be hard to get back. And a brain can't survive without oxygen anyway.

Something huge could happen right in front of you any moment. Make sure you're looking at it and not your ipod.

Can't find your glasses? Check your head before you ask a friend.

Don't walk in rivers with your 16 pound backpack on. And bring bug spray!

When you're listening to your ipod when someone is speaking, the object is to NOT get caught.

Trains running over Pepsi cans is a cure for writer's block.

Before you judge someone, think about how life looks from their (insert shoe brand here)

Do not try to impress anyone overly. It never works.

Only 1155 minutes left of school. (SQUEEEEE!)

Well, I said in September I could make this year good, and I did. Things have changed hugely-I've wrote half of a book, started voice lessons again, learned to tolerate High School Musical, made fun of myself easily, gotten a stalker and called a truce with him, fallen out and in and out and in and out again of love (I'm single now, I need to start the summer fresh), grown 2 inches, and found out what's really the most important thing in life-living it.

In September, I was the out of my seat, oh-my-god-life-is-great happy. It never lasts long. (What did that last, two days?)

Now, I am contented.

So what did I do today?

2007-06-03T12:30:00.000-05:00

Memorized the script for my Spanish final, listened to and refused to answer my brother's questions about dirty words, got annoyed by my brother watching Ed, Edd, and Eddy on CartoonNetwork's website, had no luck at all finding a bathing suit for the reward trip in two days (meaning I can't swim when we go), read through a lot of old blog entries, tried to and failed to find a google hit stat tracker so I can see how this site and Verrà un Giorno are doing (HELP ME, DANIELLE!), and generally was rather bored.

Oh, and I became number ONE for the first time.

Highlight of my day!

Legacy

2007-05-19T19:20:00.000-05:00

What a few people know about me is that my last name is Catholic, my family is culturally Jewish, and I am an agnostic. I didn't have a bat mitzvah, we do not go to temple, and I jsut don' have a religion.

But for one year, I went to temple almost every day. I was four, and I was at Jewish preschool. I do not remember anything about the preschool other than saying prayers before snack time (it was easy to remember because it seemed like singing) and one kid being the "Shabbat Kid" every time. I was always the last one because it was alphabetical, and when it was a snow day on my day, I got really mad.

Flash forward almost ten years. Yesterday, we went to our friends' house. It was Shabbat last night, and they did the traditional prayers. (Our friends are Reform Jews) The two little girls, Leah and Anna, knew all the prayers, when I didn't. Mom and Dad remmbered them somehow, and TrisChimp hung back.

But then I recognized one. Brought back memories somehow. And I certainly recognized the Shabbat Shalom song that Leah and Anna sung near the end.

If possible, Anna shouted, "HEY!" in between all the verses even louder than I used to. But she can't beat my brother. No one can.

Eh, Cumpari at Puglia- Racers dancing

2007-05-10T15:38:00.001-05:00

TARflies Lunch 2007! (Yes, I know these people.)

I've committed murder

2007-05-03T20:56:00.000-05:00

Why does the fact that someone is dead, and that you've killed them, only hit you a few days afterwards? I've just been really down these past two days. And I don't know how to let go of someone that I felt I knew very closely for the past eight (!) months. (Has it been that long?)

A short life of a few months, and even then only on paper, but I still felt like I knew you. (God, I hate killing characters.) Lei mancherò, A.W.

First Amendment invoking

2007-05-03T20:53:00.000-05:00

The local Gideons were giving them out outside the school this afternoon. I tried to tell them I had already gotten one, but they just told me to 'read it with my family, take another one.'

Are they expecting that everyone in the whole school will convert because of this?

Yelling at myself-When the truth lies in front of your eyes

2007-04-27T08:18:00.000-05:00

For the past few weeks, I was concerned about a friend of mine. She had closed herself off, always saying that she wasn't feeling well or she was tired, and I was worried. I talked to the school counselor about it, sent an email to one of my friends who was previously depressed, and I was still concerned.

Then I found out, about 20 minutes before I wrote this, that another one of my friends had had the same problem for a long time, and it had grown larger than I had ever imagined. I was so lost that I didn't see it. And I'm pretty mad at myself. I mean, I'm a WRITER. I write about stuff like this-people being preoccupied with somethign else so they don't see a huge problem-all the time. And I was completely shocked. I never saw this coming.

I'm thankful that I know now. SB, thank you for telling, and EC, thank you for staying.

Another list!

2007-04-26T17:48:00.000-05:00

Last night on Idol Gives Back, there were many "touching montages." Now, I'm not opposed to those montages, but can we please cut down on the sad music? If you put one of these songs to ANYTHING...guaranteed, it will make someone cry.

A Message, The Scientist, Fix You, or In the Sun-Coldplay

Angel-Sarah McLachlan

Chasing Cars-Snow Patrol

ANYTHING by a member of the Bhrionian family (Maire, Enya, Bridin)

The Prayer-Celine Dion

Candle in the Wind-Elton John

You Raise Me Up

Bridge over Troubled Water-Paul Simon

Somewhere-West Side Story

ANYTHING from Titanic

In Dreams-LOTR soundtrack

Now We are Free-Lisa Gerrard

My Name is Lincoln-from The Island

See? Put anything on that list to an SNL sketch, mute it, add some effects, and it'll be tearjerking, guaranteed.

Tris, Pro Muckraker

2007-04-21T16:04:00.000-05:00

Today, I went to a new-agey fair in the high school gym. Dad called me right in front of a booth that professed-you guesed it, the dangers of cellphones. The lady at the booth told me to clip my phone to my belt and clasp my hands behind my back. She pressed down on my hands, and I leaned back. She stuck some magic chip in my pocket, did the same test, and I didn't lose my balance.

I was a bit skeptical about it, so I asked a friend running another booth to do the same test. I didn't lose my balance either time. I tried it with someone else-I was on balance.

I should start a business like this, proving fair booths fake!

Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey-eyyyyy....

2007-04-19T15:35:00.000-05:00

Goodbye!

I'm sorry, Sanjaya, but it's about time. It might actually be better for you to go now before we can inflict any more damage (see older post, "An Open Letter to Sanjaya Malakar") or you can inflict anymore damage on yourself-and my ears. But if they ever make a movie of the story I'm writing, come and audition. (Did I mention that you're a dead ringer for one of my characters, when you do not fool around with your hair?)

But as a last word of advice, do not quit your day job. (Thanks Danielle!)

PS: (If you are one of my beta readers for CNP, do not highlight-major spoiler. That character dies!)

In the arms of the angel

2007-04-17T18:13:00.000-05:00

April 16, at least in my mind, will be up there with September 11. Going out to those 33 people's loved ones; My thoughts are with you.

Be thankful for all you have today. Some are not as lucky.

Hey! Teacher! Leave them kids alone!

2007-04-12T11:18:00.000-05:00

What happens when teachers play bright, happy music and then switch when something OK comes on? Cue gym class. During the fitness unit, which we're doing now, the teacher usually puts on the radio for us. Things were going OK...

Until the opening violins of REM's Shiny Happy People filled the air. I wasn't the only one who yelled, "Turn it off!" But the teacher just kept singing along, oblivious to our calls of "This song sucks!"

What comes next on the radio? It's...Justin Timberlake, who I basically keep on my iPod to annoy my brother. The teacher switches, people call, "Keep that!" but he doesn't listen, and we're forced to listen to Cher.

I just realized how pointless this entry was. But hey, you can't have everything, can you? Not all my entries can be deep and filled with meaning.

Viva Vermont! Again!

2007-04-11T18:57:00.000-05:00

You know it's a weird year when the skiing at Easter is better than at Christmas! Last week, from Wednesday to Sunday, we went baaaack to Okemo, and the snow was great. We could actually ski out of our condo and right down to the chairlift. I guess that they wanted to make up for the rip-off at Christmas-this was the most un-ripoffing ski trip ever.

Anyway, no free candycanes this time-and no boys older than my brother. For real. No long-lost Cho clones. The highlight of the trip was probably the pond skimming challenge though-the idiots who did it shuirtless never got through. Sorry no pictures.

Well, anyway, a good end to the ski season. Bring on spring!

An Open Letter to Sanjaya Malakar

2007-03-27T18:21:00.000-05:00

Dear Sanjaya,

Like many other girls my age, I have been watching you on American Idol for the past two months, and like many other watchers, I do not think that you are the best singer on Idol. Quite frankly, I think you probably should have been sent home a long time ago. That rendition of "Ain't No Mountain High Enough?" What was up with that? If it had been up to me, then, well, you would have gone straight home after that. So why are you still here? The answer is simple. some Ashley...and mostly VFTW.

Ashley, your 13-year old sobbing fangirl. My brother has her as his computer background. People like her send you votes religiously. They are the teenybopper crowd, the ones who look for looks instead of good singing when their suburban middle schools' boys got the dip in the shallow end of the gene pool for looks. Do I think you're cute? Not really. If you were an witghth grader at my middle school, that may well be a different story. No offense to any guy from my school reading this, but I think there's something in New Jersey water that causes ugly boys. Well, Sanjaya, you've got that vulnerable look about you, like a lost puppy on the side of the road that people want to help. (When you reject the irons for the hair, you actually bear a bit of a resemblance to a character from the story I'm writing. Strangely enough, that character was created two months before Idol's premiere. But enough of that.) So I think that may be part of the reason why people-and by that I mean fangirls-keep voting for you so religiously. However, there aren't an overwhelming majority of them. If you were just riding on fangirl votes, you would have been out a long time ago.

It's VFTW. VoteForTheWorst, that beacon of AI anarchy, trying to keep the bad singer is to show the produceers the power of the people (or the phone,) and possibly the most likely cause of Idol's maybe future cancellation. Those VFTW followers are mocking you for your bad singing, as well as many other people. Howard Stern wants you to win just to show that a mediocre singer can win. News anchors hassle you. You and Ashley got mocked on SNL. That's right. You Got. Mocked On. SNL. And what I'm about to say may surprise you.

You don't deserve that.

Yes, you don't deserve that. You're, well I don't know exactly, but I'm guessing that you are a Virgo, so that would make it a little less than four, years older than me. You're not old enough to smoke or drink alcohol and you've only had your driver's license for a short time, but you're already the laughingstock of America. What I think is people need to laugh at flaws of others in order to distract from their own. They need a scapegoat, and unfortunately, you're it. You've been placed in the spotlight, highlighted as being the worst contestant on American Idol this season. And even I have to agree that you're out of your league here. Next to Lakisha, Melinda, and Blake, I'm sorry to say that you look like that guy in a banana suit that got about 12 seconds of TV time in Los Angeles.

But it's just too easy to blow things out of proportion when you're on the watching side of the TV screen. See, I'm looking back at the last paragraph, and even I exaggerated a little. It's just too easy to label you the worst singer in the world. And people have labeled you that. VFTW, Survivor Sucks, countless AI forums, TV, Howard Stern...a girl is even going on a hunger strike until you are voted off. I will not hold you responsible if she dies-her own idiocy is to blame. Sanjaya-bashing is now probably the new All-American pasttime. (See, I'm exaggerating again!)

And I'm saying that we've taken it too far. You're a human being, not a punching bag. I know that you read these criticisms, if not mine then certainly others, and if it had been me, I probably wouldn't have held out as long as you have. Maybe it's cause of my age, but I still don't think so. Our country is using a kid as a scapegoat, and that's just wrong. You may have come too far on AI for my tastes, but then again, we have gone too far with our mocking of you. So this is a letter of criticism and apology.

I will not be calling your number and voting for you tonight or any night, but from now on, I'm on your side in my own sort of way.

Sincerely,

Tris

PS: Just a bit of free advice here-if you WANT to stop getting criticized, you must stop doing things that make you blog food. Wearing seven ponytails in you hair is one of them. If you want a 13-year-old's style advice, stay natural. It's nicer.

About me-yup, i'm a copycat

2007-03-25T15:02:00.000-05:00

I copied this from Danielle.

Appetizer of Choice: Anything without tomatoes.
Best Friend: Spazzbert, M, E
Choice of Meat: sushi
Dream Date: NO comment
Exciting Adventure: Going on TAR, traveling somewhere where there is no McDonalds.
Favorite Food: Japanese.
Greatest Accomplishment: I can't say-it probably hasn't happened yet.
Happiest Day of your life: I'll let you know when it happens.
Interesting Fact: I have perfect pitch (when I don't have laryngitis, that is)
Kool-Aid: Gross! Did you know that a cult back in the 70s killed themselves with poisoned Kool-Aid! I'm never drinking it after that (I hated it even before I found out about that
Jeans: My cutoff shorts.
Lover: None!
Marriage: someday
Name: Zoe the Tris
Obsession: Let us see...what first? The Amazing Race, American Idol, writing, blogging....too many to list here.
Pizza toppings: Black olives
Question Asked to you the most: What's your problem?
Radio Station: I don't listen to the radio a lot
Sex: Female.
Television Show: American Idol and The Amazing Race
Underwear: None of your business!
Video: Little Miss Sunshine
Winter: Skiing, booyah!
X-ray: Can't remember any.
Year born: 1993
Zodiac sign: Cancer

Sickypoo

2007-03-25T12:10:00.000-05:00

Well this sucks.

I can't talk at all, so I have to play Dwayne Hoover and write everything on a Hello Kitty notepad.

Mom wants to take me to the doctor because this is the second case of laryngitis that I've ha in two months.

And i still have to do my homework!

Argh.

Love and kisses,

Tris

PS: Sorry Danielle, I stole your word. And I don't care!

Amazing Race Awards, 11.5

2007-03-21T18:25:00.000-05:00

A lovely episode as usual, full of award opportunities. I think it looks good for TAR's Emmy this year! Anyway, on to the awards.

Charla and Mirna and Dustin and Kandice get the Broken Barbie Doll OF Empowerment for having the two all-girl teams finish first. In my memory, a 1-2 all-girl finish has never happened, and kudos to them for picking the right Detour and racing well.

Uchenna and Joyce get a Free Fast Forward so they will not be eliminated next week. In my mind, they have 100x more class than some people left on this race (Listening, ERIC?) Even though they have already woon this race, I think that they deserve a little more airtime-and adventure-than certain people.

Dustin and Kandice get the Sugar Packet of Sweetness for paining the little girl's nails for free. It didn't affect their placement, and it gave the little girl something to be happy about. It's a rare breed of racer that takes time out from the competition to do something nice for the locals, and kudos to them for that.

And finally, Oswald and Danny get the Pure Comedy Gold Medal for their hilarious antics at the mat. For those of you who didn't see it, here's what happened; Oswald and Danny's hands were covered with coal dust from the Detour. When they got out of their car to run to the mat, they didn't just step on the mat, they started yelling, "Phil! I'm hugging you, I'm hugging you!" Oswald and Danny chased Phil around the field where the mat was before the check in. However this explanation doesn't do it justice-you HAVE to see it to belie it. This was probably one of the funniest moments ever on the Race, and it is very deserving of this award. Oswald and Danny, keep racing with that style and class that you always have had, and keep having fun. I love you guys.

And that's the awards for this week.

Amazing Race Awards, issue 11.4

2007-03-13T17:29:00.000-05:00

Well, Sunday was a shocker! Well, not after the first 5 minutes of the episode.

My first award goes to The Amazing Producers. They get the Anvilicious Award for Head-Banging. Producers, here's a tip from me. If you want to shock us, do NOT show teams in slow motion or give them excessive confessionals. That's a sure sign of doom. Five minutes in, I knew Romber was gone.

Eric gets the Broken Crayon of Immaturity, for his continued comments about Danielle's breasts. This award will cause Eric to be magically de-aged and force him to go back to seventh grade, where he will be yelled at by satanic teachers to not be a pervert. Danielle also gets the Sarah Reinertsen Award for Having an Asshole Boyfriend. The problem is, TAR10's Sarha actually had a backbone. So I'll give Danielle a Backbone too.

Mirna gets the Artie Ziff Muzzle of Conversion, an award lovingly ripped off from RNO. The Simpsons' Artie Ziff made a machine converting computer modem noise into music. THis has been adapted to fit on Mirna's head so we no longer have to hear her whining. Won't that be lovely?

Charla! Hurry-What is love/Baby don't hurt me/don't hurt me/no more!

Rob gets the Soo Hock Lazt Plase in tha 5th Grayd Spehling Be Surtifekat for failing to spell "Philippines" right. The clue clearly stated that the spelling had to be correct (in Rob and Amber's RNO interview, they said that the clue did NOT say anthing about spelling, but I think that they are lying. They haven't been the most honest people in interviews.)

Charla gets the Zach Behr Honorary Certificate of Patience for putting up with Mirna on the signpost task. Mirna likes to play the victim, and it just slows the team down. However, because of Charla's temper loss, the certificate has started to rip and may be rpped in haff if Charla becaomes any more Mirna-esque.

The final award goes to Any Amazing Race Fan who Desires One. They get Permission to Break into "Walking on Sunshine" at random places until the next elimination. And why? Cause Romber is gone. Off our TVs. Most people have had enough of them, and a lot of fans I know would like one. I've already utilized it twice, once on this blog. However, the second time, it earned me weird looks from TrisChimp, so I would be cautious about singing it in front of normal people and/or Romber fans.

That's all the awards for this week. Now if you'll excuse me...

I'M WALKING ON SUNSHINE, WHOA-OH! I'M WALKING ON SUNSHINE, WHOA-OH! I'M WALKING ON SUNSHINE, WHOA-OH! AND DON'T IT FEEL GOOD!

The school! The school! The school is on fire!

2007-03-12T19:42:00.000-05:00

Well, not exactly.

But it did happen! See, my science teacher is famous for lighting his desk on fire every year. It's alcohol, it's not too dangerous. So everyone has been bugging him about it (When are you going to light your damn desk on fire?) so he decided to do it today.

Lighting the fire (Picture blurred for identity protection)

Anyway, being the crazy people that we are, we asked him to do it again. This time, he poured a little more alcohol on the desk.

Maybe a little too much.

Cause three seconds after this photo was taken....

The fire alarm went off! The teacher tried to call the office, but to no avail. We all walked out, and everyone was teasing the teacher. He kept repeating, "I'm never gonna survive this" and that he was never lighting his desk on fire again. We stayed outside for about 15 min, laughing and teasing cause we knew there was no fire.

Anyway, I think I may have witnessed the Last Lighting of the Desk.

I feel so special!

I'M WALKING ON SUNSHINE, WHOA-OH! I'M WALKING ON SUNSHINE, WHOA-OH! I'M WALKING ON SUNSHINE, WHOA-OH!

2007-03-12T06:08:00.000-05:00

AND DON'T IT FEEL GOOD!

Woooooo!

2007-03-09T18:06:00.000-05:00

GOODBYE!

Congratulations! You have been selected to be incredibly annoyed!

2007-03-09T17:59:00.000-05:00

I've been on this computer for an hour.

And I have seen 23 audio spam ads.

Someone get me Advil!

I love life, life loves me

2007-03-01T20:11:00.001-05:00

Way back in the early 00s, my dad used to make mix CDs for my brother and me. On one of the eralier ones, I asked for a song called "I Love Life." which I thought was just a nice happy song. Later, I just started thinking it was dumb, and forgot all about it.

Flash forward almost 5 years. I hear it in an insurance commercial, and decide to see if I can find it again, just to make fun of it. Well, I've found it (in this one video, there was no official video since the album, ehich was supposed to come out on 9/11/01 was never released. The record companies thought that all the criticizing of modern issues was too controversial especially after 9/11) and I looked up the lyrics.

It's not a bubblegum pop song at all! It's very sarcastic.

I love it even more now.

A bunch of profound thoughts

2007-02-28T15:41:00.000-05:00

THis moring, I was walking to school and thought that I noticed something different. Then I noticed that the sun was shining for the fist time in six days. It was warm enough to walk without my gloves, or at least it felt like it. Was the grass greener, or was it just the light? I don't know.

For 14 minutes, I walked to school to the sounds of the Police, Katrina and the Waves, and U2-and while I walked, I felt a new kind of happy, like everything, for 14 minutes, was alright. It wasn't the feeling you get when your most hated team gets Philiminated, or the feeling you get when you find a pair of designer jeans on the bargain rack (or shoes, DANIELLE) or even the feeling that you get when the final bell of the last day of school rings.

It wasn't nostalgia or anticipation. It was just pure living in the moment.

Now that's rare.

Amazing Race Awards, 11.2

2007-02-26T06:56:00.001-05:00

I don't know how many of you saw this episode of the Race because of te Oscars. I wasn't really focused on the Race last night. I was just excited at the thought that we might have a snow day! (We don't. Delayed opening. BOO.) But I'll do my best, considering.

This week, Mirna gets the Flo Pesenti Bottle of Whine, an award lovingly ripped off from RealityNewsOnline. Mirna seriously needs to SHUT UP. Unless, of course, she's completely crazy. (Which I think she is.) Charla, keep kicking ass.

Danny gets the Best Line Of My Whole TAR-Watching Career Award, for using two golden oneliners, which were;

"I think I was a man in a previous life,"

and

"My manicurist would be so angry if she saw what I did to my hands today."

Love. Them. People like them should get their own shows instead of people like Romber.

Drew gets An Anvil on his Head for not reading the clue! The clue-and the road signs- clearly stated that you could go 50 kph once you left the Valley of the Moon. If he had read the clue and signs, they may not have been eliminated. A lot of other things helped lead to their elimination, but this sealed their doom. A note to all future racers: READ. YOUR. CLUE!!!

(And by the way, the Amazing Producers were a bit Anvilicious with the ominous slo-mo passing the 50 kph speed limit sign. People, we don't need to see it a million times.)

Mirna, getting her second award of the evening, gets the Brandon and Nicole Award for Hypocrisy for shouting "You drive like a girl" at Drew when he wasn't reading the clue and was going slow. Honey, I know you may have wanted to insult him, but "You drive like a girl" doesn't even make sense. Take a look at yourself in the mirror. Last time i checked...Hey! Everyone point and laugh at her! She just insulted herself!

Rob gets the Jonathan Baker Award for Marital Disrespect for telling Amber to be quiet when he was trying to "stir the pot," as he claims it. I don't care if you were trying to create animosity-disrespecting your wife is not the way to stir the pot, as you call it-unless you want to create animosity in your own team. True, it was a small thing, not of Lake or Jonathan caliber, but I just don't like it when guys do that.

And Oswald and Danny get another award-the Alvin Schwartz Award for Censorship! Oswald and Danny made a somewhat risque comment on their Mat Chat, and got their video removed from the CBS site. Now WHY would they do that? Do they think America is too sensitive to hear one sex joke on the CBS site? Do they think we cannot handle it after *gag*-Boogie and Erika this summer? Now here's what I got to say about that...

CENSOR THIS!

Oswald and Danny, don't change. We love you.

And that's all the awards for this week. Check back after next episode for more awards!

Amazing Race Awards: Column 11.1

2007-02-19T08:13:00.000-05:00

Well, TAR: All-Stars kicked off last night, and just like last season, I was not a disappointed girl with the episode. (Well, TAR10 had a very meh ending, but meh is impossible with these teams.I have a good feeling about this season.) So, I'll be giving out awards with each episode. Comments are appreciated, and if you think I left an award out, you can tell me; I'll add it and give you credit for it.

Kicking off the first real batch of awards, I will give Oswald and Danny the Tris' First Sentimental Favorite Award. I'm pretty surprised at that-I had expected my first Favorite Team award to go to Charla and Mirna again. But Oswald and Danny quickly became the favorite of me (and my dad) with their nice attitude and great wisecracks. Oswald and Danny, take pride in your first award. (And people, stop calling them Team Cha Cha Cha. They told people not to on Mat Chat.)

John Vito gets the Huge Red Bar of Stating Popular Opinion. John Vito, a lot of us agree with you that Romber has had their 15 minutes and more. We have all had enough of them. (The way he said it was pretty funny too.)

Charla gets A HUGE ROLL OF Industrial Quality Duct Tape. This is the stuff they use to tape leaky pipes, fix huge holes, and a lot of really useful things too, so it must be good. Charla, you may apply the duct tape as needed to your partner's mouth in order to put an end to the "Come on, Charla!"s and all that crap. (My God, I forgot how much Mirna annoyed me! Charla, you kick ass. I think i may have to give Charla Half Of the Tris' Sentimental Favorite Award.)

Ian officially has his Christina Aguilera Award for Improved Sense in Fashion revoked. Sorry Ian, but i told you if you brought that ugly hat along, you'd get your award taken away!

Revenge of the Ugly Hat

I won't carp on them for bringing paper underwear. I know it may sound gross, my readers, but that means that they don't have to lug around dirty old underpants. It's disgusting, but that is what is called SMART RACING.

Edit: Wait! Ian also gets the I Need A Kitten award for Grossing America Out for telling the world that he went commando on the last leg of TAR3 during his Mat Chat. Thanks Ian. I'll never watch the finale the same way ever again.

John Vito and Jill get the "Why Me?" Bubble of Thought. No, JVJ, you did NOT deserve to be Philiminated so early. Have a good time in Sequesterville (or Elimination Station, as CBS calls it now since Sequesterville was trademarked by the fans.)

I couldn't really carp on Rombah this time around since we didn't see especially a lot of any team. (You almost never do on the first leg.) But-we can still laugh at Rob in his soldier outfit. Everyone point and laugh at him!

Guido thinks Rob looks ridiculous too.

***points and laughs***

Ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha!

music

2007-02-18T15:13:00.001-05:00

What exactly do I listen to? Here's some of it.

OK, make that...

2007-02-14T08:40:00.000-05:00

FIVE DAY WEEKEND!

Ice storm. No school. WOOOOO!

Four day weekend

2007-02-13T14:01:00.000-05:00

OK, it was originally two day weekend. But, we had yesterday off thanks to our lovely and talented striking teachers (they have no contracts and Monday is a public holiday, so they have the right to take the day off) so we spent the day skiing at Mountain Creek, which only seemed small because the area with the intermediate trails didn't open until three, and we had to leave. (And the bright side was, I did four black diamonds!)

But seriously. Here's a list I made while on the lifts. I'm NOT making this up.

Underwear Trees: 2 (If you don't know, at a lot of ski places people throw ladies' underwear off the lifts onto trees. Pretty funny to point out the skimpiest thong, or the granny panties.)

Number of Empty Cigarette Packs on the Ground: 30

Number of Soda Cans and Bottles: 56

Number of Beer, Wine, and Liquor Cans and Bottles: 105

And that was only off ONE lift! Seriously, someone tell these people that there is such a thing as a grabage can! (Or better yet, a recycle bin.) Can someone also tell them that whiskey and skiing don't mix?

Today was a special day-only 13-year-olds who provide kittens, are obsessive about The Amazing Race, and like to take photographs of llamas had it off.

Alright, alright! I'm sick! Really!

Tris

PS: I think I've had this blog long enough to know that no one ever comes here that doesn't know me. And I never post anything about where I live, or anything that could help a creep find me.

For those of you who don't know me, nice to meet you. I'm Zoe.

Its Peanut Butter Jelly Time!!!

2007-02-07T16:47:00.001-05:00

What the...

Now we are free

2007-02-05T07:34:00.000-05:00

It's over.

Yes, it's over.

I'll never walk into the auditorium and sit down in seat B112 again to have Mr. Cohen yell at us or have us repeat the audition scene, or any number from any show, again. I'll never perform on that stage again.

***breaks down crying***

PS: 8th graders usually sign the Wall of Fame in the stage left wing on their last show. I did some sign-art. (Reality TV fans should recognize the parodies.)

Cohen got caked!

2007-02-01T20:18:00.000-05:00

Life is good. You know why?

Today was the last rehearsal of High School Musical, and it was my LAST last rehearsal, since I'm graduating this year. About halfway throuugh, that hit me, like, No way, it's my last rehearsal at this school! So I was feeling a little down.

When everyone came into the auditorium, the people were finishing "Stick to the Status Quo" which I'm not in. We sat down to watch the end, and at the end, "Pia," (Sharpay) gets a fake cake covered in shaving cream in the chest. The house lights came up, and Mr. Cohen (the director) started making his comments, and...

Pia throws the shaving cream from the cake in his face.

Life is good, people. Life is good.

Let's just hope I can survive the next 3 days.

PS: Today was the first time

I was bored

2007-01-27T18:11:00.000-05:00

What does your birth month reveal about you?
July Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood.Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets.Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studyin
Take The Quiz Now!	Quizzes by myYearbook.com

Discover your Zodiac Personality @ Quiz Me

Close enough! (I'm a Cancer.)

find your inner clothing style @ quizmeme.com

Corkystclair, TAKE THIS QUIZ!!

What Language Should You Speak?

You should speak Polynesian!Natural beauty is important to you, as well as family. Your life is relaxed, but you're never lazy.
Take this quiz!

Quizilla
Join

Make A Quiz More Quizzes Grab Code

What's your inner power? (Girls only sorry. Beautiful anime pictures, lengthy results)

Sensitivity- Your inner power is Sensitivity! You are true to your heart, and probably a hopeless romantic. Everyone loves you for your gentle ways and kind words, and you are brilliant with animals and young children. Youre very sweet and caring, and you have friends who love you, who are always there to support you and hold you when your fragile heart is broken. You are most likely often found daydreaming about your life and your future, and you have a talent for dealing with kids, all of which adore you, even if youve only been around them for five minutes. Youre the one your friends turn to when they need a shoulder to cry on, and a kind word to get them smiling again. You are shy, lovable, compassionate, and seek to make the world a better place. You will go far in life for sure. You go girl! Boy/Girl who will sweep you off your feet: The romantic, sweet guy/girl that every girl dreams of at some stage in their life. You just love the way he/she treats you as you are the most precious, important girl in the world, and the way you know hell/shell never cheat on you. Your stone/jewel: Calcite Your power: Love. You can make the most revengeful person mellow, and have a talent for being a brilliant match maker. Your element: Earth A quote that applies to you: "When you step to the ledge of all the light you have left, and you take that first step into the darkness of the unknown, you might believe one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for you step upon, or you will learn how to fly."
Take this quiz!

Quizilla
Join

Make A Quiz More Quizzes Grab Code

Amazing Race Awards: Issue 11.0

2007-01-16T18:05:00.000-05:00

So the cast of Amazing Race: All-Stars has been posted, and I can say that this is gonna be a good season. These teams (at least those whose seasons I saw on YouTube or TV) I have all liked, with the notable exception of one, which you will find out all too soon. I'm really looking forward to Feb. 18 (premiere date) and if you are reading this blog and have no idea what I am talking about, turn on CBS at 8 pm on February 18. You won't regret it. Trust me.

This season, I will be doing an "awards" column for racers who stand out to me in a way. People can get good or bad "awards", and you can comment on the column if you want me to include another award. Here are the pre-show awards!

First of all, Ian gets the Christina Aguilera Award for Improval in Fashion Sense. Ian (of TAR3) was known for three things; being half of the oldest team ever to make the Final 3, berating his wife and racing partner Teri constantly, and WEARING ONE OF THE UGLIEST HATS EVER KNOWN TO MANKIND.

2003

However, I am glad to say that he has since abandoned that hideous piece of headwear, and is now going for a different style.

2007

Congratulations, Ian! Now as long as you forgot to pack the hideous hat, I shall not have to revoke your award.

Second, to the producers I give the Smack In The Head Of Shame for not bringing Ken and Gerard back! How could you not love those two brothers? They were polar opposites-Ken was gay, liberal, and single, and Gerard was straight, conservative, and married with kids. You'd think that a pair like that would fight all the time, but they were one of the few teams that managed to maintain a good attitude throughout the race, which is more than I can say for some people *coughJonathanandVictoriacough*

Besides, how could you not bring back a team that THIS happened to?

Also, The Amazing Producers get A Pair Of Non-Scratched Glasses, because theirs must be scratched up-as well as covered with broken ox dung and salt from the salt-searching task from TAR10-unless they can give me a good reason as to...

What are THEY doing on an ALL-STAR RACE?!

OK, don't get me wrong. I like Dave and Mary, heck, I even have a button with her catchphrase on my purse. they seemed really sweet on the race, and their picture could probably be put in the dictionary under "non-ugly american." However, I gotta say this-they were NOT. GOOD. RACERS! If not for the six-pack alliance, they probably would never have made it past India. They were constant bottom feeders, placing last on non-elim legs twice before being eliminated. I didn't see them as competitive people- and here they are racing against the most competitive people to grace my TV. I'm sorry, but they're way out of their league here. I pick them as first to go.

Charla gets an Official U.S. Patent for her idea of racing in Heelies! If you don't know, heelies are sneakers with wheels in the heels, and Mirna's gonna pull Charla along so she'll be able to keep up. (Charla is 4' and has very short legs, so she can't keep up easily.) I don't know how well this idea is actuly gonna WORK, but I hope it does (I <3>

My final award goes to Rob and Amber. They get the Huge Wooden Cane of Get The Hell Off The Stage! (Or TV, in this case.) Rob and Amber have been on FOUR reality shows (this makes their fifth) as well as a number of specials, one about their wedding. Do they REALLY need more TV time? I know that they were good and competitive racers, but they just seem like they are coming back on this not for the experience, but for more attention and fame. I saw one show starring them, (TAR7, I do not watch Survivor and I don't have cable) and I've already had enough of them. GET THE HELL OFF MY TV. Unfortunately, I don't think that will happen as soon as I'd like it to be.

Well, that's all for now. Look for more columns once the season starts!

Tris

PS: If you know anything about the outcome of the race (like exactly WHEN Rob and Amber will be getting off my TV) please, please, PLEASE don't post it in a comment! I'm avoiding spoilers carefully after I was spoiled on about half of the eliminations last season.

Press the little gray play button. I dare you.

2007-01-16T03:16:00.003-05:00

FINE PRINT: Tris is not responsible for head sticking, unconscious humming, or humiliation by siblings, parents, or cats.

Entering High School Musicaland

2007-01-09T17:56:00.000-05:00

Show night for High School Musical is in 3 weeks. On Friday, I will be entering High School Musicaland, or (director's name)land. That means that there will be rehearsals every school day till Friday, Feb 2. I'll be in school every day until 5:30 early on, and 6:30 in the last week. (I'm gonna have to start packing PowerBars, that's practically what I live on during crunch time) The rehearsals are gonna be intense (one unlucky sixth grader last year was ignorant enough to ask when he could go home-the director yelled at him so much that he started to cry) and tiring (last year we had to run our longest number 11 times straight).

Did I mention that my director is insane?

Think good thoughts for me. I may not make it out alive.

Your iPod wants you to stop singing "Wake Me Up When September Ends."

2007-01-03T20:38:00.001-05:00

Funniest video EVER!

Hey Saddam, how's it hangin'?

2006-12-30T10:08:00.000-05:00

So Mom turns on the news this morning, and there's "SADDAM EXECUTED" in huge letters on the bottom of the screen. And some people in Iraq and America are thinking, "Ding dong, the dictator is dead!" Iraq I can understand. America, well not so much as Iraq, but I can stilll understand. But some are still thinking that he should still be in power, not starting to turn to worm food. And that's what I'm worried about.
You know what I'm thinking?

Bad idea. BAAAADDD idea.

I don't like the death penalty. i just don't think it does any good-where does anyone get by killing people when you could just as easily sentence them to death in prison, which is what a life sentence is. I'm also not sure about the humaneness of the death penalty, either. I've seen stories about botched executions, when the victim-OK, gotta stop or I'll lose my Cinnamon Toast Crunch all over the carpet.

Another thing-there are still some people that liked Saddam and are mourning for him as I write this. Other people are celebrating iin the street. This could get ugly. December was the bloodiest month in Iraq since the war started. How can we know that this won't trigger even more violence? I think that this will not help Iraq find peace, but will hurt.

This war isn't black and white, right and wrong. It's all shades of gray. America wants to see in black and white, so they see in black and white.

That's one more bad idea.

Wii posting

2006-12-28T14:52:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone! I'm posting this from my Nintendo Wii. It's pretty cool being able to post from my TV. Anyhoo, I gotta go. My brother is gonna kill me if I don't get off this Wii.

From Tris

Viva Vermont!

2006-12-26T19:33:00.000-05:00

Hey, it's me again-after a huge battle with writer's block and a ski vacation to Okemo Mountain. OK, it was probably a semi-ski vacation because it rained hlf the time and we couldn't ski two of the days that we were supposed to ski. Aaaannnddd...because of the rain aaannnndddd the warm temperatures aaaannnndddd the humidity, only 38 tralis out of 120 were open. Talk about a ripoff!

Or maybe it's just an inconvenient truth.

Anyhoo, I bet you're thinking right now, "When's Tris going to tell me about the hot guy she met on the slopes? There's got to be one, there always are!" For all of you silly people who have been reading all those little books with the pastel covers who think that there are ALWAYS guys to be met when you ski or board, think again. The closest guy to my age in my ski group was my 10-year-old brother. (Dammit, I hate being the oldest kid in the ski school sometimes...) Now go whack yourself over the head with that book and a killer rabbit, you sill person! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of...OK, enough with that.

Wait! What's this? Oh, the 15-year-old assistant instructor on my first day did look a bit like the Cho Bros' (from TAR10) lost sibling, but the littler kids kept asking him if he had a girlfriend and I couldn't get a word in. Who winds up all these 8-year-olds in the morning?

Merry (late) Christmas and happy (late) Hannukah and a happy (early) New Year to all of you!

PS: I did get a huge free candy cane from a guy that was not dressed up in a Santa suit. But that was because my dad and brother got stuck on a trail while the groomers were coming. I had gotten down ahead of them and was stuck on the lift house porch for 15 minutes because I didn't have a key to our condo, and the lift operator gave it to me. Sorry to disappoint y'all!

Dancing bears

2006-12-16T20:27:00.001-05:00

Bears dance to What Is Love-courtesy of yoooooooouuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrssssssss truly!

STALKER ALERT!!!!!

2006-12-14T19:35:00.000-05:00

WANTED: One very annoying idiot whose name I will not reveal

Charged with stalking innocent eighth grader in suburban JOWHRWEUIHR (if you're reading this blog, you probably know where I live, and if you don't, I'm not telling you here)

AGE: Biological: 13 (probably) Mental: 8

HAIR: Brown

EYES: Brown

HEIGHT: Shorter than me

WEIGHT: Lighter than me

CHARGES: Yelling out stalkee's name at random places, embarrasment in front of friends, attempted pantsing, attempted hugs, public declarations of unwelcome affection, immature behavior.

THE STALKEE (HEREAFTER KNOWN AS TRIS) HAS BEEN ATTEMPTING TO FEND STALKER OFF WITH SARCASTIC REMARKS AND ATTEMPTED KICKS IN PAINFUL PLACES TO BE KICKED, BUT TRIS IS RUNNING OUT OF PATIENCE AND WITTY COMEBACKS. IF STALKER IS SEEN, PLEASE REPORT IMMEDIATELY TO NEAREST POLICE STATION.

Get up, get up, get up and shake your napkin!

2006-12-12T21:19:00.001-05:00

Wonder why I was in Little Italy on Sunday? Well, here's your answer. I was at a finale party for TAR10 at Puglia's. A man named Jorge entertained everyone, and that's who's singing. Was I dancing too? Well, tell me, would YOU be able to not dance?

Is it a rule...

2006-12-11T17:32:00.000-05:00

that the band has to play "Winter Wonderland" EVERY FREAKING YEAR? I heard it three years ago, I heard it the year after that, I heard it last year, and I heard it this year. Seriously, will this district get rid of the atupid "Grinch" law? (For those of you who don't go to my school that means we can't sing holiday music. ANY holiday music, including American carols like "Santa Claus is Coming To Town.)

But this year, the boy behind me was singing "Walking Round in Women's Underwear" so I started laughing quietly. I bet the other kids were thinking, "What is that crazy girl doing laughing at WInter Wonderland?" If only they knew...

Why don't you laugh too?

Snowflakes for a cause

2006-12-07T19:52:00.000-05:00

This snowflake maker is really addictive, and sends money to the Salvation Army. Enjoy!

Wooo!

2006-12-04T20:23:00.000-05:00

Number ONE!

PS: Yes. I have no life.

Celine's Revenge, Part Deux

2006-12-04T20:08:00.000-05:00

Celine continues to exact her revenge on me for flipping her the bird on Thanksgiving. This time, I was trapped in a Lord and Taylor dressing room standing guard over a bunch of expensive shirts while Mom went to look for a shirt in the right size. I was stranded with no iPod or earplugs-and Celine butchered "Blue Christmas" over Lord and Taylor's loudspeakers. Celine, you can hit me with any Christmas song you want to butcher-I will just mock you inhumanly on this blog!

PS: But will you lay off "Blue Christmas?" That song was sung too great by Elvis for you to get your paws on it.

PPS: And do not under any circumstances sing Dominic The Donkey.

PPPS: Or the Chipmunk Song!

First is the worst, second is the best...

2006-12-04T20:02:00.000-05:00

...and third is the one who forgot to get dressed!

Celine's Revenge

2006-12-02T19:05:00.000-05:00

Well, Celine must have been pissed that I flipped her off on Thanksgiving, because I certainly was the object of some revenge tonight.

I was at a holiday party-you know, holiday music playing in the background, candy canes on the tree, that whole chestnut. So I was hanging out in a room with thick carpeting, when Mom told me it was time to go. Just as I was leaving, I noticed that I had lost an earring. Just as I bent down, Celine Dion's "Feliz Navidad" came over the speakers. And I couldn't leave or cover my ears, because I was busy looking.

Guess when I found the damned thing?

Just as the song ended.

Karma hates me.

PS: Does anyone know of an antidote to Celine Dion songs being stuck in your head? I have already tried Dominic the Donkey. Didn't work.

Agadoo!!!

2006-11-25T11:05:00.001-05:00

Dancing fruit!!! Yaaaayyy!!!

Revision

2006-11-24T13:11:00.000-05:00

OK, so I take that back. The best part of Thanksgiving was NOT flipping birds at the Dancing Princess Barbie float in the Macy's parade.

It was flipping birds at Celine Dion on Deal or No Deal! (Celine Dion is like hard liquor; you have too much and your head may start to feel a little weird.)

PS: No, I don't drink!

Two Thanksgivings

2006-11-23T08:40:00.000-05:00

Last night, we had Thanksgiving at Grandmas-or the day before Thanksgiving anyway. We had the whole turkey-mashed potatoes-stuffing (I hate stuffing)-pumpkin pie meal. Last night. I had a mini-Amazing Race planned for all the kids at Grandma's last night, and it actually worked! The only things that went wrong were;

1. One kid knocked down a clue envelope and no one could find it for 10 minutes.

2. A ten-year-old threw a tantrum after he didn't win.

3. A clue that I wrote in German pointing to the bird feeder, when translated, became "House for the pleasure of the birds," making it sound like a bird whorehouse.

Tonight, we'll be having filet mignon and mushroom soup. The only vaguely Thanksgiving part of the meal is apple crisp. I know it'll still be Thanksgiving, even without the turkey. Cause we're all getting together, and...OK, enough mushy stuff. I'm gonna go watch the parade and flip some birds at the Barbie float. That's the best part of Thanksgiving for me.

The "hallmark" of my night

2006-11-14T18:51:00.000-05:00

http://www.hallmark.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/article%7C10001%7C10051%7C/HallmarkSite/GoldCrownStores/Commercials/VMT_LARGE

Are you kidding me? If I had been in that lounge, that this would have gone somewhere else. Down the toilet sounds like an option. Seriously, this is the saddest holiday commercial I have ever seen. The guys at Hallmark either have no life, so they believe that humans would act like that, or they have been experimenting with drugs. Either that or the actors were on drugs.

Q: How do you kill holiday spirit before the holidays begin?

2006-11-03T16:47:00.000-05:00

A: By putting up Christmas decorations in October.

I'm serious. I've been seeing Christmas commercials, Christmas decorations in stores, hearing bad Musak carols (I heard "Sleigh Ride" today in Kings) and I'm just sick of it. (The first Christmas decoration I saw this year, I saw on October 15.) I know that the Christmas sales start early, the stores want you to buy the latest thing that breaks one hour after you unwrap it, blah blah blah fishcakes. But the only time I like seeing Christmas stuff is AFTER Thanksgiving. Once Santa has passed Macy's, you can deck the halls all you want. I like the holidays! But now I'm just annoyed-the holidays are a little less special when the holiday season starts as soon as school does. Bah humbug!

Halloween Statistics...as given by a professional trick-or-treater

2006-11-01T19:44:00.000-05:00

Crazy Barking Jumping Dogs: 10

Crazy Jumping Meowing Cats: 1

Scared People (of either my luna moth costume or Spazzbert's werewolf princess costume): 28

People Who Thought Spazzbert Was A Guy, Failing To Notice Her Princess Dress: 9

Prizes Won By Me: 0

Prizes Won By Spazzbert: 1

People Who Gave Us Extra Candy For Original Costumes: 6

People Who Gave Us Nonpackaged Peanuts: 1

Crazy Screaming Moms Behind Us Upon Discovery Of Nonpackaged Peanuts Due To Their Preschooler's Allergy: 1

People Who Told Us We Were Too Old To Trick-Or-Treat and Slammed The Door In Our Faces, Nearly Ripping My Wings Off: 2

I had a great night. This was the first time in 5 years of Halloween that I hadn't worn a dress. It felt great to jump around.

Do your chain hang low?

2006-10-16T15:33:00.000-05:00

Chain Hang Low. It's an overplayed rap song by what is most likely a one-hit wonder, among others (Listening, James Blunt?). It's got a group of kids singing the chorus(which is the only high point of the song for me) Well anyway, it's the kind of song that high-school aged goofy white chicks cruise down our town's main street singing at the top of their lungs.

Did I mention I don't like it very much?

Anyway, we were taking a quiz in eighth period social studies when we hear, "Do your chain hang low/Do it wobble to the floor/Do it shine in the light/Is it platinum is it gold/" -and everyone in the room cracks up except for one guy, and that guy grabs his phone and ends the call. My teacher strides across the room, and everyone waits for the explosion. (My social studies teacher is one scary lady) She holds the cell phone up, and is about to consider giving the class a "no cell phones" lecture when we hear "Do your chain hang low/Do it wobble to the floor" again. Everyone cracks up again. The only way it could have been funnier is if my teacher had told the guy to change his ringtone.

In recognition of the "Chain Hang Low" fiasco...

Tris' Official List of Ringtones You Don't Want to Have On Your Cellphone if it's On In Class

Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-A-Lot

She Bangs by Ricky Martin or William Hung

Any song by the Pussycat Dolls

Candy Shop by 50 Cent

We Be Burnin' (Legalize It) or Give It Up To Me by Sean Paul

ANYTHING by Britney Spears

Ms. New Booty by Bubba Sparxxx and Mr. ColliPark

London Bridge by Fergie (or, anything else by Fergie)

What's Your Fantasy or Money Maker by Ludacris

SexyBack by Justin Timberlake

Hollaback Girl by Gwen Stefani

Anything by Cascada (especially Miracle)

Anything by Weird Al Yankovic

Promiscuous by Nelly Furtado

Bootylicious by Beyonce

What a Girl Wants by Christina Aguilera

SOS by Rihanna

Special shoutout to my friend E who helped me with this list! Did I miss anything, E or anyone else who's reading this blog?

Tris-profanity and the HPI

2006-10-11T20:12:00.000-05:00

Firstly; There is something called the Happy Planet Index. It ranks countries by their citizens' overall life satisfaction as well as life expectancy, etc. Now what's the happiest nation? The USA? Japan? The UK? Canada? No, it's a small island nation in the Pacific called Vanuatu. The only thing that some Americans know about Vanuatu is, "Oh, Vanuatu? Didn't Survivor or something film there? Where is it?" and leave it at that.

Secondly; I don't swear a lot.

That's all there is to it. When I called someone a jackass, they made fun of me, thinking I was this sweet, innocent ingenue that would never allow a bad word to pass through her voice box. I'm not that-I just don't swear a lot. It's not easy to induce Tris-profanity, unless your name starts with M and ends with Y-L-I-T-T-L-E-B-R-O-T-H-E-R. But today, something happened that did induce Tris-profanity, and here it is...

Our president is the bastard child of a chlamydia-infected weasel and a piece of broken oxshit.

That's right, there's a news article out that says we're staying in Iraq until 2010. 655,000 Iraqis are dead, and it's our fault. Gee, Mr. President, don't you think these Iraqis might be a lot happier if we left them to fight and came to help them when they actually asked us for it?

Vanuatu's looking pretty good right now.

2006-10-06T17:39:00.000-05:00

Callbacks and Istanbul

Sorry I haven't written. Nothing much has been happening out in suburbia, except that I got a callback for High School Musical (go me!) Anyway, if Moskau is still stuck in your head, here's something to get it out, my readers.

Tris

One-liners

2006-09-26T11:13:00.001-05:00

My friend R, who wants to be known as Spazzbert McFriendly on this blog (don't ask) has some of the best one-liners ever. Yesterday, she asked me if there were real dragons in Power-C vitamin water, and I said no. She said, (honestly, I can't make up things like this) "I'm half vegetarian, I don't eat mythical creatures. No dragons, no phoenixes. I don't eat basilisks, either. Not even with gravy." (If you want to see some of her art, go to www.upecomics.com.)

Tris

My hynik is BROKEN!

They fight! And fight!

And fight and fight and bite!

Fight fight fight!

Bite bite bite!

The Peter and Sarah Shooowwwww!

2006-09-22T16:54:00.000-05:00

Something to entertain you

Real Fast-Kuai Kuai!

2006-09-22T16:36:00.000-05:00

Real Fast-Quack Quack!

Most TAR classic funny quotes have been blurted out unintentionally, and this one was no exception. Here is the backstory for this...Lyn and Karlyn are on the first flight, but it has been delayed. They're one of the leaders of the pack, but they are worried about other teams catching them.

Lyn and Karlyn

They want to go faster, and they are really fed up with Peter and Sarah (Sarah has a prosthetic leg, and she's using it as an excuse to get ahead even though she's probably one of the fittest people there), so what do they say? "Quack quack," of course!

The second instance came after the Roadblock, when David and Mary (the coalminer and his wife from Kentucky) get a taxi. They want to go fast too, so what does Mary say? "Real fast! Quack quack!"

However, these first two weren't supposed to be funny because...

The REAL instance? It's because some CBS high-up doesn't know Chinese! "Fast" or "quick" in Mandarin is kuai kuai. So I guess that it's not these people who are speaking gibberish-it's CBS.

My readers, how very few of you there may be, I shall give you some classic examples of blurt-outs, just to hold you over until we can get some REAL ones.

"We have a bad elephant!"

"Swing you fat bastard, swing!"

And probably the most well-known TAR quote of all time...

"My ox is BROKEN!"

Until next time, my readers, I shall also provide you with something to get stuck in your head, (or again, if you are a TARfly. You have been warned...) It should be coming soon.

Water pistols! Pedicabs! Bricklaying! Yup, it's The Amazing Race!

2006-09-19T21:20:00.000-05:00

Like all other fans, I watched the premiere of "The Amazing Race" on Sunday, and it certainly did not disappoint. I hope it can just get more viewers, or it may spell bad news for TAR. But focusing on the now, here's some of my favorite moments from the premiere.

Do Muslims believe in Buddha?

Bilal or Sa'eed introduces himself to the cheerleaders.

Kellie (or Jamie, I don't remember which) attempted to shake Bilal or Sa'eed's hand. Bilal or Sa'eed objected, saying that it's against his religion. Seconds later, there' s a shot of Kellie and Jamie talking, and-This picture says it all.

Seconds later, laughter erupted throughout my house. (Now, my readers, think how funny it would be if Dubya said it.) Sadly, Bilal and Sa'eed were eliminated on this leg, so there will be no more funny cheerleader/Muslim interactions. Darn.

Water pistols!

It's better if this story is told in pictures. I LOVED the music played during this scene, it's probably second only to Dave and Lori's theme from TAR9.

Erwin and Godwin, the two Korean brothers from San Francisco, fill up their Water Pistols With Extreme Comedic Potential (WPWECPs) They're not Super Soakers or anything, just those little cheap ones made of clear plastic that you get at the dollar store or as party favors.

Mary gets squirted!

Dustin and Kandice (hereafter reffered to as DoubleDRedux) also get squirted. (not shown, I couldn't find a picture.) "Are you kidding me?"

Of course, you can't just squirt people with water pistols in an airport, and...

"Oooooops!"

Two things are happening here; The WPWECPs are getting confiscated, and Erwin and Godwin are getting reprimanded by the security guy. (Someone must have not told Erwin and Godwin the "no guns in the airport" rule. Even WPWECPs.)

Erwin and Godwin bid farewell to the WPWECPs, now going off into the sunset (or the garbage) with the security guy.

"Yessssssss!"

Erwin and Godwin mourn the loss of the WPWECPs

There will be some more funny things from the premiere soon, but now I have to do-homework. (Snore...)

Oddball Recap (part 2)

2006-09-13T14:43:00.000-05:00

Onward to Victory: Near the end of a stage, Sonic is about to enter the beat-the-game door when Amy Rose throws a bomb. Nothing special. (2/10)

Mexican Jumping Egg: Sonic walks along, looks up at the base of a cliff, and Eggman jumps on him. Nothing special (again). (3/10)

Sonic and the Cliff: The classic cliff gag. (6/10)

Sonic and the Cliff Take 2: Sonic runs along like the first one and stops before the cliff edge, but Tails and Mario crash into him. Tails says, "Ooooops!" (6.5/10)

Sonic and the Cliff Take 3: Sonic runs along, jumps over the cliff, but he gets hit in the naughty bits by a rock on the other side, making him fall. (7/10)

Curiosity Killed the Cat: Sonic is walking along when he discovers a strange dor. He opens it, and behind it is Amy taking a shower. (Everything from neck to feet is censored with a black block.) She screams and the next thing is Mario standing on a flat land while the screen shakes. He says, "Mama mia!" (7/10)

A Lovely Day For Eggman: Eggman is riding in one of his destroyer machines with a drill on the front when he crashes into a tree and it falls on him. (5/10)

Mind Settled In Peace: The longest crackup. All the dialogue is in speech bubbles. Sonic sits on top of cliff, saying, "Ahh! What a nice view from up here! And no Knuckles nor Amy to bother me!" Knuckles (of course) appears and pushes Sonic off the cliff. He lands in the ocean, saying, "I'm gonna get that knucklehead if it's the last thing I do!" Just then, Amy appears, yelling, "Sonikku!" Amy kisses him, and Sonic says, "Why me?" (8/10)

Because I'm bored: It's how I became evil. (10/10 not because of the short, but the chaos that ensued on TARflies.com afterward)

Well, I have to do-homework, of course. The rest of the ratings will be up tomorrow.

Oddball Recap (pt 1)

2006-09-12T16:50:00.000-05:00

I am hopelessly addicted to a series of short movies called "Sonic Oddball Crackups," featuring 8-bit and 16-bit game sprites all doing something odd. Here' s my recap of the original.

Proper Introduction: Mario comes on and does his "It's-a'-me" bit, and starts walking off, but Wario punches him into the background. (6/10)

Sonic vs. Eggman: Sonic the Hedgehog jumps onto a platform and Eggman comes on in his flying machine. Before anyone can attack, a weigt comes out the bottom of the flying machime and Eggman craches offscreen. (3/10)

A Nice Afternoon for Sonic and Tails: Tails the Fox is flying a plane and Sonic is wing walking when Tails does a loop-de-loop and Sonic falls offscreen. (4/10)

Meeting with Knuckles: Sonic runs to the base of a cliff where Knuckles the Echidna is at the top. We think Knuckles is going to attack, but he hits a switch and starts dancing to Dragostea Din Tei. (For those of you who are ignorant to Europop, you may know it as the Numa Numa Numa Song.)

When Robots get Smart: A gold robot starts chopping at a tree and when Sonic runs on, the tree falls on him. (4/10)

Bowling for Hedgehogs: Sonic is running along when the Katamari (of Katamari Damacy) comes along and scoops him up. The King of All Cosmos says, "Behold! The beauty of the Katamari!" (7/10)

More later-got work to do. You can find Sonic Oddball Crackups at www.newgrounds.com.

9/11

2006-09-11T15:04:00.000-05:00

It's hard to believe how one day you think everything's fine and normal, but in a blink it all falls apart. My 9/11 story isn't that exciting, but today I saw a NOVA episode about 9/11 in science class, about the science of the towers and why they fell. When the TV showed footage of the South Tower collapsing (it's been 5 years and I hadn't seen it) I thought I was going to cry, so I can only imagine what it was like for the people who saw it on TV-or were eyewitnesses.
On 9/11/01, I was in school, and the principal ran in to tell my teacher something, but she acted like nothing was wrong, and the day went on. At the end of the day, the principal said tat tere was a problem in te city and that the school had to call everyone's parents, so after we were supposed to leave we just played 7-up and Silent Speedball. The school let us go, and Dad told me after I arrived home that some bad men had blown up the WTC. My brother was only upset that he couldn't watch cartoons (he was only in kindergarten at the time.) I really didn't get it either, but when we went up to the city overlook, we saw the huge smoke cloud, and it finally hit us that the WTC was gone. One girl I knew lost a father, another girl lost an uncle. My dad told me that we'd catch te bad guys who did it.
Now five years later, we still haven't caught them an I'm really pissed at the media by using 9/11 for publicity, and even more pissed at the government for using 9/11 as an excuse for things that have nothing to do with 9/11, but affect us all.
As a closing note, this; At the beginning of that year, everyone in my elementary school had to sing "What A Wonderful World" at the beginning of each school day before we went in (the school told our parents to teach it to us over the summer) but after 9/11, we just stopped doing it. I guess it didn't seem like such a wonderful world after all.

Tris

Sushi and creepy dreams

2006-09-10T17:15:00.000-05:00

Last night I was at my grandma's because my parents were out of town, and usually when I'm there we go out for dinner. We were going to go to Legal Seafood, but when I suggested my favorite sushi restaurant my little brother shot it down. Then my grandpa told me that the chef at the restaurant was retiring, so we went there instead. (I'm really gonna miss him. There goes the best salmon sashimi this side of the Hudson.) I don't know I was going to post some pictures of the last fashion roll ever made by the chef, but I ate it. Sorry!
Well, we went back to Grandma's, went to sleep, and I had an AWFUL dream. I was at my computer checking the Wikipedia for the hurricanes, and there was a hurricane named Joyce heading right for us. I woke up, relieved that we weren't even past F, but when I checked on Florence, I discovered that Joyce was the J name for this year! Cree. Pee. Hopefully, I can laugh at it when Joyce doesn't come anywhere near us.

First Day Of School

2006-09-07T14:57:00.000-05:00

THINGS I LIKE:
Eccentric teachers
Non-assigned seats

THINGS I DON'T LIKE:
Tiny Lockers
Long Speeches

Well, I survived. It wasn't easy, but I have some great teachers and some ones that are just OK. My computer room is EXCRUCIATINGLY hot right now, and our A/C is on the fritz. Man, I feel sorry for all the kids who go back to school in the hottest part of the year. I thought when I went back to school it would be hard to step into the building, but it was fine, and I had my friends O and M with me when we went in. Here's some of the more interesting things of my day...

1. Finding out that I had the SMALLEST FRICKIN' LOCKER IN THE BUILDING for the third year in a row.

Tris's Tiny Locker

2. During health, my teacher was telling us about what kind of work to expect and was telling us about the STI project when the Mission: Impossible theme started up. We all thought that someone had forgotten to turn their cell phone off, but instead it was the teacher's phone! Someone else asked if we were going to be hearing that a lot, and then the teacher rattled off what themes we might hear.

3. In another class, a teacher went overboard telling us how our grades were calculated and that tests were 35% of our grade. The teacher wrote this on the board to show an example.

80+90=170 170x.35=59.5 average

BZZZT. Wrong!

4. My friend O is a klepto and proud of it. At lunch O tried to steal my sketchbook, and while I tried to get it back, O grabbed my purse. I didn't notice O had it until another kid said, "O, what are you doing with [Tris's] purse?" I grabbed the purse and sat down, turning red. I am such an idiot!

5. I was wearing a shirt with sequins on it and when there were no seats left besides one by the teacher's desk (and underneath a skylight) I had to sit there until the teacher said, "Hey! What are these lights from?" and everyone pointed to me. I must have been as red as a lobster-again. Luckily, he switched me.

Well, if all my school days are this entertaining, I will be a happy girl indeed.

Love,

Tris

PS: I saw the inspiration for the Geico gecko a week ago! (Or, I think it is.) Here's the photo.

It's pie...with chips...for free!

first post

2006-09-06T14:21:00.000-05:00

Well, this is new...I've never blogged before, and I don't know who'll read the blog. My name is Tris, (It's not my REAL name! Come on!) and I'm a girl from suburbia with a penchant for fashion designing and "The Amazing Race." There's gonna be rants, triumphs, and some things that are just plain random here. It's just who I am.
Tomorrow's the first day of school, and every grownup I know is asking if I'm excited. Well, sort of...I don't know if the year will make itself good on its own, considering that I'm an individual in a clump of walking billboards for Abercrombie and Fitch and Hollister. (And that our school play is High School Musical, so instead of dedicated people, the play will be overrun by those same billboards.) But can the year make itself good with a bit of encouragement from me? I think so.

(This is my friend Gabby. He's a sweetie.)